My lesson on life!
As I sat and listened to "Ariana Grande's, Imagine" on Amazon music I had to think to myself what and where did everything go compared to where I expected it to be?
Hey why hi! Today's blog is the option to be yourself and what that means? You think to yourself, you wake up and do what you please so that makes you the best at what you do. That is being you! What if you never noticed most of your decisions were based on being accepted by people so everything you did was to not be alone?
I have to ask this question because in the midst of returning to Chicago I noticed you had to focus on building relationships with everyone else but the ones with yourself. I heard over and over about friendship. I figured out what that was. It's calling the people that don't tell you your wrong and aren't experts in what your going through but at least you feel you aren't going through it alone. In reality you make your own decision so they are there just to make you feel better.
As I reviewed the women in their 40's, 50's and 60's comparing themselves by their careers, how many friends they have and all the networks they have they never said yeah he took the trash out for me this week and made the house so much easier when he fixed the broken toilet. So much of the things that aren't talk about when women begin to go to other women for their life advice. The same woman that has never tried to be married, the same one that wants nothing but independence and saying the words submit to her is a diss to how much she's done at the office.
I started to realize women are more concerned with being the best female for the next female that they have forgotten that men open the doors and weekends are great date nights with your boo. That week in the gym you spent sweating and getting that body right was and is for him to squeeze on that booty and say damn baby great job.
Maybe its the Capricorn in me but I don't think being in a group of females all the time is a good thing. Reason being, who do you become? Do you become the girl that she likes so now she's your friend or did you become the person you love to be?
I must admit I HAVE ALWAYS been one worried about my man or who I'm with more then I have ever worried about friendships. I don't understand that perspective. When you get married you don't marry your best friend and if you aren't cautious that friend can slide in your man's bed while she knows your business.
I set at a funeral and I thought to myself where are the men that are supposed to be there supporting these women. It was the same thing, a crowd of women who I guess had given up on men. Didn't have a man of the house and still were taking out their own garbage and probably forgot what it felt like to wake up with a man on their bed every day. Then I thought to myself. I have to get away. So I left. No I didn't want to go back to a house where we could have hung up before a death, That is amazing to me. We all live in Chicago but it's a game of business and love. Well they can work on getting to the top and I'll work on being in love with myself.
I've lived in Alaska where there was no family members, no friends I grew up with and no one there I knew other then my co workers. I think that made me a bit of a loner. Imagine 3 1/2 years where if you go outside in the winter you literally better have a place to go. You only dealt with the people that gave you a feeling or you stayed in. I thank God for that because I'm not a person who can't be to herself. I think people who don't know how to spend time to themselves have some issues. I think they don't know how to deal with their own thoughts. Those are usually the people that can tell you everyone else problems and swear they are perfect. No one can reach their amount of peace. Well I can be a honest world traveler and say this. The more I add people in the more they mess up my mood. It becomes annoying meeting people and these expectations of friendships people expect so quickly. They think if they tell you their business then you should tell them yours. In the end. The world is way to big to just do something to let someone know what I'm doing. I'm past that stage. I'm an extremely private person and I don't get to close to people. I don't really think there is a need. I think you find like minded people being yourself so looking for people is non sense to me. You can meet the love of your life at any time in your life. Your life doesn't have to be perfect and you don't have to be the prettiest. It could be the complete opposite but if you only know how to make everyone else happy how can you make yourself happy?
As I set back and observed I thought to myself, I want to ensure I have a husband and a life partner in my 40's and rest of my life. I don't want to be sitting there trying to connect with a woman that can't give me what I need. I am into men so yes I may think a woman is attractive but there is nothing that turns me on about a woman. There is nothing that I would actually date a woman. I am not interested in that manner. I know the world has evolved however I love a man.
So this is what I'm thinking about right now. I have to make sure I understand comparing myself to other family members is stupid. I met some of these producers who are in their 50's still trying to be a player. I got a good two more years then its time to settle down. I got until about 35 before its like okay actually try for a serious relationship. I gave myself a maturity age. I did not rush my life to be this over old ass woman. I meet so many women who have aged themselves way to much. I'm so old, I'm so old and I think you haven't done anything. How can you be so old and haven't seen the whole world? How can you say you know what you want out of life when there is so much you haven't seen?
Maybe because the first time I found a sense of peace I was at an Alaska spa sitting next to a heated pool that had steam from the top while the mountains and the snow were my backdrop. I wrote for hours. There was nothing else I could do. I was 20 years old and literally threw my phone in my room on the bed and just wrote and cried. It was and still is the most therapeutic thing I have seen. Putting yourself in nature and sorting out your thoughts. I believe there is a time for man made things and there is a time for nature only. In my personal opinion buying things adds to you but doesn't give you the answer you need. If that was the case we could all go and buy our life purpose with our tax refund. Buying things shows your interest, it shows what you like however it is not the way to your heart.
I don't believe the heart is motivated by wealth. I know mine is not. I have tried to do things and be overly motivated by the money and the outcome of the situation however it did not receive my best. I did just what I needed to do to complete the tasks and went from there.
Hear me loud and clear the world can think whatever it wants about me but I am extremely observant and I try and see things from all angles. Especially as a writer it is a great gift. I can see the bully, the action, the feeling, the solution the problem and the lies that broke the heart to begin with. The lie is simple. "You need to be needed to be important." The biggest lie I have ever witnessed in the art of mankind. In the end you need to need yourself to be important. If doing something for someone else makes you feel better then doing for yourself someone lied to you.
Let me ask you a question. Were you taught to share because your parents were poor and needed others to share so sharing showed you cared. Really it was an option to obtain more then you had without having to get it yourself. I started reviewing all the lessons I was taught and saw a lot of that crap was wrong.
What have you learned growing up looking at the adults you thought had all the answers and noticed what they taught you was wrong. Some of the stuff was cool but when applied what you've learned how far has it gotten you?
Well let's start 2020 with discovering our own lessons. THE ONE'S OUR PARTNERS NEVER DID! THE ONE'S THEY CAN'T RELATE TO SO THEY DON'T HAVE THE ANSWER FOR IT. IT'S NOT ABOUT PLEASING OTHER PEOPLE. MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY!!!
LOVE YA...
PS..
This life thing is confusing as fu**!
SPEAK :)
Hey why hi! Today's blog is the option to be yourself and what that means? You think to yourself, you wake up and do what you please so that makes you the best at what you do. That is being you! What if you never noticed most of your decisions were based on being accepted by people so everything you did was to not be alone?
I have to ask this question because in the midst of returning to Chicago I noticed you had to focus on building relationships with everyone else but the ones with yourself. I heard over and over about friendship. I figured out what that was. It's calling the people that don't tell you your wrong and aren't experts in what your going through but at least you feel you aren't going through it alone. In reality you make your own decision so they are there just to make you feel better.
As I reviewed the women in their 40's, 50's and 60's comparing themselves by their careers, how many friends they have and all the networks they have they never said yeah he took the trash out for me this week and made the house so much easier when he fixed the broken toilet. So much of the things that aren't talk about when women begin to go to other women for their life advice. The same woman that has never tried to be married, the same one that wants nothing but independence and saying the words submit to her is a diss to how much she's done at the office.
I started to realize women are more concerned with being the best female for the next female that they have forgotten that men open the doors and weekends are great date nights with your boo. That week in the gym you spent sweating and getting that body right was and is for him to squeeze on that booty and say damn baby great job.
Maybe its the Capricorn in me but I don't think being in a group of females all the time is a good thing. Reason being, who do you become? Do you become the girl that she likes so now she's your friend or did you become the person you love to be?
I must admit I HAVE ALWAYS been one worried about my man or who I'm with more then I have ever worried about friendships. I don't understand that perspective. When you get married you don't marry your best friend and if you aren't cautious that friend can slide in your man's bed while she knows your business.
I set at a funeral and I thought to myself where are the men that are supposed to be there supporting these women. It was the same thing, a crowd of women who I guess had given up on men. Didn't have a man of the house and still were taking out their own garbage and probably forgot what it felt like to wake up with a man on their bed every day. Then I thought to myself. I have to get away. So I left. No I didn't want to go back to a house where we could have hung up before a death, That is amazing to me. We all live in Chicago but it's a game of business and love. Well they can work on getting to the top and I'll work on being in love with myself.
I've lived in Alaska where there was no family members, no friends I grew up with and no one there I knew other then my co workers. I think that made me a bit of a loner. Imagine 3 1/2 years where if you go outside in the winter you literally better have a place to go. You only dealt with the people that gave you a feeling or you stayed in. I thank God for that because I'm not a person who can't be to herself. I think people who don't know how to spend time to themselves have some issues. I think they don't know how to deal with their own thoughts. Those are usually the people that can tell you everyone else problems and swear they are perfect. No one can reach their amount of peace. Well I can be a honest world traveler and say this. The more I add people in the more they mess up my mood. It becomes annoying meeting people and these expectations of friendships people expect so quickly. They think if they tell you their business then you should tell them yours. In the end. The world is way to big to just do something to let someone know what I'm doing. I'm past that stage. I'm an extremely private person and I don't get to close to people. I don't really think there is a need. I think you find like minded people being yourself so looking for people is non sense to me. You can meet the love of your life at any time in your life. Your life doesn't have to be perfect and you don't have to be the prettiest. It could be the complete opposite but if you only know how to make everyone else happy how can you make yourself happy?
As I set back and observed I thought to myself, I want to ensure I have a husband and a life partner in my 40's and rest of my life. I don't want to be sitting there trying to connect with a woman that can't give me what I need. I am into men so yes I may think a woman is attractive but there is nothing that turns me on about a woman. There is nothing that I would actually date a woman. I am not interested in that manner. I know the world has evolved however I love a man.
So this is what I'm thinking about right now. I have to make sure I understand comparing myself to other family members is stupid. I met some of these producers who are in their 50's still trying to be a player. I got a good two more years then its time to settle down. I got until about 35 before its like okay actually try for a serious relationship. I gave myself a maturity age. I did not rush my life to be this over old ass woman. I meet so many women who have aged themselves way to much. I'm so old, I'm so old and I think you haven't done anything. How can you be so old and haven't seen the whole world? How can you say you know what you want out of life when there is so much you haven't seen?
Maybe because the first time I found a sense of peace I was at an Alaska spa sitting next to a heated pool that had steam from the top while the mountains and the snow were my backdrop. I wrote for hours. There was nothing else I could do. I was 20 years old and literally threw my phone in my room on the bed and just wrote and cried. It was and still is the most therapeutic thing I have seen. Putting yourself in nature and sorting out your thoughts. I believe there is a time for man made things and there is a time for nature only. In my personal opinion buying things adds to you but doesn't give you the answer you need. If that was the case we could all go and buy our life purpose with our tax refund. Buying things shows your interest, it shows what you like however it is not the way to your heart.
I don't believe the heart is motivated by wealth. I know mine is not. I have tried to do things and be overly motivated by the money and the outcome of the situation however it did not receive my best. I did just what I needed to do to complete the tasks and went from there.
Hear me loud and clear the world can think whatever it wants about me but I am extremely observant and I try and see things from all angles. Especially as a writer it is a great gift. I can see the bully, the action, the feeling, the solution the problem and the lies that broke the heart to begin with. The lie is simple. "You need to be needed to be important." The biggest lie I have ever witnessed in the art of mankind. In the end you need to need yourself to be important. If doing something for someone else makes you feel better then doing for yourself someone lied to you.
Let me ask you a question. Were you taught to share because your parents were poor and needed others to share so sharing showed you cared. Really it was an option to obtain more then you had without having to get it yourself. I started reviewing all the lessons I was taught and saw a lot of that crap was wrong.
What have you learned growing up looking at the adults you thought had all the answers and noticed what they taught you was wrong. Some of the stuff was cool but when applied what you've learned how far has it gotten you?
Well let's start 2020 with discovering our own lessons. THE ONE'S OUR PARTNERS NEVER DID! THE ONE'S THEY CAN'T RELATE TO SO THEY DON'T HAVE THE ANSWER FOR IT. IT'S NOT ABOUT PLEASING OTHER PEOPLE. MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY!!!
LOVE YA...
PS..
This life thing is confusing as fu**!
SPEAK :)
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